Sigh...Kids these days...

 Not so long ago, in a land not so far away, there was a little girl who’s favorite pastime was reading books, playing outdoors or some other such inexpensive pleasure. Fast forward 15 years, the big girl now doesn't read as many books as she would like, doesn't play any sport and most of her weekends are spent in shopping malls scouting for the best deals or indulging in culinary delights at restaurants, or some other such pleasure requiring her to spend money.

In case you didn’t get the hint already, the person in question here is yours truly. Now how can I not buy that perfect fitting jeans when the poster in the trial rooms says

 I wonder what has changed in these years. I used to be like any other kid. I went to school, played outdoors with friends, and went to karate/swimming/art/music classes. What happened that I no longer seem to do any of these things? Is it just me, or in general the scheme of things changed when I was not looking? Part of the change is that I now have a job and an in-flow of money. And we all know Newton’s third law – Every action requires an equal and opposite reaction. Going by that, an inflow of money requires an outflow of money too. But if an inflow of money required an equal outflow, then we wouldn't be saving any money. Thankfully, that law doesn't hold true in this case…at least for most of us!

Another glaringly obvious change is the revolutionizing technology that has made the world flat. Kids today are glued to the computer, in school and after school. I am not saying technology is bad because I, for one, cannot imagine my life without email, laptop and a cell phone. But my question is do we really need to start that early? And how much of a kid’s time is spent doing useful things on a computer. I am confident that a majority of it is spent on social networking and chatting. Not just that, they go to clubs and pubs, malls and restaurants, and throw expensive birthday parties much before mine or your generation ever dreamed of (Yes, I am talking like a grandmother and assuming my blogs limited readership doesn't include youngsters!).  Though I can’t find a solid argument as to what’s wrong with this change in culture, I still find it hard to come to terms with. As long as the kid has a sensible head on his/her shoulder, I think its fine. But it’s definitely not the kid’s fault if he/she is crossing the limits of acceptable behavior. Knowingly or unknowingly, parents encourage it or give in to it. A large part of it is due to the parents’ need to keep up with the Joneses. Or sometimes, it is the need to give their children the comforts and luxuries they always wanted but didn’t have.  Either way, they end up doing more harm than good. 

Another contributing factor that I see is the growing trend of nuclear families. Married couples move away from their families and most of the times both the parents are working. So the kids do not come home to the loving care of grandparents or their mother. While it is not realistic to say that parents should give up their careers once they have children, it is important that couples figure out some flexible working options to be able to spend time with their kids. However, in the not so ideal world, flexible working options are sometimes not available to everyone and many have to let go of their career aspirations and settle for a comfortable job that may not be the most challenging, but will allow them to spend more time with their kids. Sometimes, it boils down to a catch 22 situation. Do you  take up more challenging positions at work that will allow you to bring home a bigger package and provide better for your children, or should you take up a job that lets you spend more time with your kids albeit at a much lower salary? There are couples who strike a balance between both and manage to get the best of both worlds. But for others, it’s a tough choice that they have to make.

In my opinion, there is no right or wrong here, and there are just too many variables involved to be able to arrive at an ideal situation where each variable is set to a specific value. In the past the formula: mother_working = FALSE and Joint_family = TRUE and career aspirations = MEDIUM might have worked, but not today. So the best that you can do today is to bring up your children with values and teach them to be good human beings. If you have achieved that, consider it a job well done. Rest, they will figure it out as they go along. 

Divorce

On my way to work, I see a particular hoarding every day. I haven't been able to click a picture because I pass by it when I am on the bus and my awesome phone isn't sophisticated and advanced enough to be able to click pictures at such far distances. So I googled for a similar picture and here it is:



I find it mildly amusing as well as a bit appalling. Amusing because – just imagine one fine day you find out that you are no longer married because your spouse filed for a divorce and you had no inkling about it! Appalling because it makes me ponder – should divorce really be that easy that you don’t even need your spouse’s signature, let alone a court appearance? In some cases, yes! I strongly feel that one must be able to break free from an abusive marriage, legally and otherwise, without any hassles. There is no point in being stuck in one. It’s not worth another day of your life. So I leave out this category. But I am talking more about everyday divorces where normal couples break up just because they don’t get along with each other anymore, they don’t understand each other anymore or just because they are bored of the monotone that their marriage has become. I really wonder how minor tiffs and peeves such as ‘He always leaves a wet towel on the bed’ or ‘She always has the last word when it comes to TV’ can lead up to a divorce. Don’t these couples remember their wedding vows of being together till death do them apart? And I find it even harder to believe when love marriages end in a divorce because of such reasons. Here they don’t even have the excuse that their families had set them up against their wishes. They, as mature (I hope) adults (I really hope!) had chosen to come together. Nobody had forced them to. In fact, they were madly in love. Those were days when everything seemed right as long as they were together. Nothing else mattered. How can the memory of those days be wiped out by wet towels and TV remotes? At least for the sake of these memories, couples should make an honest effort to sort out differences and make it work. If despite that, things don’t seem to work out, please go ahead and go separate ways. But allow yourselves some time to figure things out instead of letting these small, every day issues overcome your life and make your decisions. Otherwise there’s always divorce for $399!

P.S Even divorce is expensive. That should give couples enough reason during recession to stay together.