Sigh...Kids these days...

 Not so long ago, in a land not so far away, there was a little girl who’s favorite pastime was reading books, playing outdoors or some other such inexpensive pleasure. Fast forward 15 years, the big girl now doesn't read as many books as she would like, doesn't play any sport and most of her weekends are spent in shopping malls scouting for the best deals or indulging in culinary delights at restaurants, or some other such pleasure requiring her to spend money.

In case you didn’t get the hint already, the person in question here is yours truly. Now how can I not buy that perfect fitting jeans when the poster in the trial rooms says

 I wonder what has changed in these years. I used to be like any other kid. I went to school, played outdoors with friends, and went to karate/swimming/art/music classes. What happened that I no longer seem to do any of these things? Is it just me, or in general the scheme of things changed when I was not looking? Part of the change is that I now have a job and an in-flow of money. And we all know Newton’s third law – Every action requires an equal and opposite reaction. Going by that, an inflow of money requires an outflow of money too. But if an inflow of money required an equal outflow, then we wouldn't be saving any money. Thankfully, that law doesn't hold true in this case…at least for most of us!

Another glaringly obvious change is the revolutionizing technology that has made the world flat. Kids today are glued to the computer, in school and after school. I am not saying technology is bad because I, for one, cannot imagine my life without email, laptop and a cell phone. But my question is do we really need to start that early? And how much of a kid’s time is spent doing useful things on a computer. I am confident that a majority of it is spent on social networking and chatting. Not just that, they go to clubs and pubs, malls and restaurants, and throw expensive birthday parties much before mine or your generation ever dreamed of (Yes, I am talking like a grandmother and assuming my blogs limited readership doesn't include youngsters!).  Though I can’t find a solid argument as to what’s wrong with this change in culture, I still find it hard to come to terms with. As long as the kid has a sensible head on his/her shoulder, I think its fine. But it’s definitely not the kid’s fault if he/she is crossing the limits of acceptable behavior. Knowingly or unknowingly, parents encourage it or give in to it. A large part of it is due to the parents’ need to keep up with the Joneses. Or sometimes, it is the need to give their children the comforts and luxuries they always wanted but didn’t have.  Either way, they end up doing more harm than good. 

Another contributing factor that I see is the growing trend of nuclear families. Married couples move away from their families and most of the times both the parents are working. So the kids do not come home to the loving care of grandparents or their mother. While it is not realistic to say that parents should give up their careers once they have children, it is important that couples figure out some flexible working options to be able to spend time with their kids. However, in the not so ideal world, flexible working options are sometimes not available to everyone and many have to let go of their career aspirations and settle for a comfortable job that may not be the most challenging, but will allow them to spend more time with their kids. Sometimes, it boils down to a catch 22 situation. Do you  take up more challenging positions at work that will allow you to bring home a bigger package and provide better for your children, or should you take up a job that lets you spend more time with your kids albeit at a much lower salary? There are couples who strike a balance between both and manage to get the best of both worlds. But for others, it’s a tough choice that they have to make.

In my opinion, there is no right or wrong here, and there are just too many variables involved to be able to arrive at an ideal situation where each variable is set to a specific value. In the past the formula: mother_working = FALSE and Joint_family = TRUE and career aspirations = MEDIUM might have worked, but not today. So the best that you can do today is to bring up your children with values and teach them to be good human beings. If you have achieved that, consider it a job well done. Rest, they will figure it out as they go along.